Wish, hope and Bliss

2240 BDT
05-02-2011

Wish, hope and Bliss

I wish nothing changed,
I wish we’re the way we’re,
I wish we continued sharing what we shared,
I wish I never faced what I faced.

I wish I was sure,
I wish I’m true,
I hope you’re also,
I hope you’ll someday.

I wish I never felt hollow,
I wish I hadn’t let go,
I wish I knew what to do,
I wish you never changed.

I wish you’re never born,
I wish you never died,
I wish I never moved on,
I wish I wasn’t in despair.

I wish I never felt the pain,
I wish I’m not vain,
I wish I knew what is real,
I wish this is surreal.

I wish I wasn’t torn,
I wish I wasn’t lost,
I wish I knew future,
I wish I knew departure.

I wish I had hope,
I wish I never wrote,
I wish I never had (this) wish,
I wish I knew what to wish.

And Ignorance is the bliss!

2218 BDT
07-02-2011
Image courtesy: us.reachout.com

11^th December, 2010

Beauty and the beast… they lived together ever after.

Life is the mingling pot of joy and sorrow, hope and despair, beginning and end, love and hate, birth and death and the list continues. It is a funny irony that we get something losing something else to lose that to get yet another something. Nevertheless, it is the irony that brings meaning to our life.

The beast unleashes beauty within…

2202 BDST

11^th December, 2010

It is quite fascinating how we can fool ourselves into believing what we think we have, what we think is right and what we think is expected. Often the difference in these parameters of individuals leads to initial disagreement, ultimately to long term fall off. Any successful relationship, of any form, between two individuals is strongly dependent on how both of the parties reach to a mutually acceptable solution.

….

Enough geeky! I was planning to write down emotional stuffs and look at the intro: What happened to my writing? I guess too much paper spoils the tone! (I know the sentence is incorrect, but I feel like writing it down! Oops! Back to the nerdy tone.) Moving back to the issue again!

Whether I like it or not, my life appears to be the most interesting and eventful one among the people I know. I have gone through so many ups and downs, visited so many paths. There are two sides of being such experienced campaigner. You know the rules better than people around, you know the pitfalls and cracks and of the system you know how to tinker it. The downsides are: you lose interest in everything or your neural pathway may cross-react leading to a completely unrelated emotional state. Having said that, I never regret my life. Everything I experienced was worth experiencing!

0149 BDT

Our perspectives are reflections of the paths we have crossed.

The same event, the same story, the same movie… some love it, some get upset, some get bored! It’s like ten blind men getting idea about an elephant by touching its different body parts!

22-02-2010

0157 BDT

2339 BDT

Life, no matter how much you dream, is not the way you have dreamt. Yes, sometimes you may feel you’re the least lucky one, but that’s the same way that person, to whom you’re staring at, is thinking about his life. Tricky, ain’t it?

Often we fail to figure out our priorities and assign correct values to our possessions and expectations. Meaninglessly, we run behind less important assets while leave the valued ones to rot at the corner of our store room. The better one is in figuring out, the better his/her life is!

Nothing in life comes for free, nor is anything for granted. You get something because you deserve it and you lose it because you don’t. As simple as it can be! And you will not always be the luckiest lad around.

2352 BDT

18-02-2010

1025 BDST

I’m not the type of person who keeps on nagging about life.

Life is dynamic and things change! I’ve seen people who fear it! Have also seen people who become horribly depressed spending terrible time wandering why things aren’t the way they are supposed to be! The truth is things are actually the way they are supposed to be! You’re the stupid who failed to foresee it.

So many harsh words, but well deserved.

1035 BDST

20-12-2009

1231 BDTS

It’s tougher than I thought.

Human mind never ceases to amaze me! It’s like order in the midst of randomness, it’s like pattern within chaos, it’s like the artist’s painting which he actually used to clean his brush… it’s like meaning within the meaningless or may be the other way around! Who knows!

The moment you feel you understand it; it’s the same moment it behaves in a way beyond your wildest imagination.

Fear, possibly! Memories, it can be! May be 80/20, at best 65/35! There is no point in seeking explanation.

I never stop gaining experience… a gift or curse of living my life instead of fearing it.

18-12-2009

2352 BDST

Mahdi’s Journal.

8.30 pm. I am walking through a road of Dhaka… vendors selling, barbers shaving and cutting hairs, the video game shop filled with spoilt/ to be spoilt kids … a busy night. Me, probably one of the many, moving to and fro through the riddles of mind!

The euphoria of past, at times, elude our present thoughts and judgements. We know they are meaningless, yet we cling to them as if they are the only hope. We, humans, get emotional, act childish and let our judgement be masked! Sense and sensibility become merely two words of dictionary without having any practical implication!

And I made the decision! Left the past, erased it and started to live for what valued and important I have in my present life.

… and my life indeed is beautiful…

01-11-2009

Time is relative- sometimes I feel I’ve so many examples in my life.

Good moments, they pass by so fast, like a blink of eye! Bad ones, the cling to your life as if they are never meant to leave! What an irony! Why it isn’t the opposite?

Most of the times you will see me happy; not because I pretend to be, it’s because I actually am! Pretending was never in dictionary, I guess that’s a real bad trait. I can get condemned someday for that; that’s a different story though!

When I look back at my life, it’s like a camera reel. I’m a kid playing with my toys, winning all the games I played not because I was great in them, but because I was best at manipulating my playmates! Losing wasn’t in my dictionary either! But I was a good player also. Then I see me growing up, returning to Bangladesh from Kingdom of Saudi Arabia… days in Bangladesh, hard ones… school, college, university. It doesn’t even take a minute to travel a lifespan of 24 years 11 months and 25 days approximately, how weird is that?

What a joke! Ain’t it? Life, feelings, emotions, all the caring stuffs; I mean why do we bother so much about others? Sometimes I think these are the worst dead ends of evolutions. Human beings would do way better without them… so much sorrow and pain around… when I see the lives of my close ones. What’s the point? Every story has a similar match! It’s like the same drama played over and over again! The only difference being the actors, actresses and perhaps the stage!

If you’re trying to make sense of how the writing is proceeding and how it will end, then I suggest stop doing that… you will see a convoluted tunnel with no light… neither any ending. It’s just my mind, moving to and fro, trying to pass through the bad moments.

I’m getting disappointed with my writing… the standard keeps on dropping! Why is that? Is it because I stopped practicing? Or is it because I stopped being hopeless! Yeah, that’s the appropriate term. I wrote on this already in a previous entry!

The strategy of living the moments have changed me so much! Life is fun now; I enjoy every bit of it! Some of my friends keep on criticizing me constantly! I never get their logic! Is it they can’t accept the reality? Or is it they are too jealous of my life.

Wrote nearly a page, attended a phone call in the meantime, only half an hour!!! At least I’ve spent some of the worst moments, sewing meaningless sentences.

Better luck next time!

1115 BDST

01-11-2009

05-10-2009

0133 BDST

Such a practical joke, mine has always been!

Having the courage to taste life is a really a bad trait. It has so many drawbacks, so many pains and struggles. Knowing all these I was never afraid, maybe I’ll never be. It’s not in my genes!

I know it’s a bad day and I shouldn’t be doing this; technically I’ve an exam tomorrow, its the last serious bullshit exam I’m probably going to give in my life! Exams in this country (Bangladesh) are such meaningless pain in the ass! You memorize stuffs, vomit them, the better you’re at copying, the more mark you get! What a tragedy! 4-5 days of non-stop memorizing, 4 hours and its over! Only Almighty knows what do we gain from this drama!

Who cares when nobody cares! The story of my life!

0145 BDST

05-10-2009

Image Courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/toy_box/1290052190/